I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
