Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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