This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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