so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
