so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
