Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
