it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my poor anus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
