? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
