I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
