I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
