Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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