Don't you send me to vm
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
