Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
