well I can't set my house on fire every night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
