i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
