i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
