My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
