fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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