I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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