I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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