she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
