nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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