apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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