Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
