just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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