stop calling my apartment porn island.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
