Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
