Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
