I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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