so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
