How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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