You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
