There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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