Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
