u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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