Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
