My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
