3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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