He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
