It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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