After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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