have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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