is wine microwaveable?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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