did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
