I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
