Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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