meet me or not, i'm out of control
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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