goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
