I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
