Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
zippers are such a cool invention
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize