Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
